April 1, 1984

April Fool's Day!  Today I told David I was getting a divorce from him.  The moon is in Aries, so wouldn't you know I would act.  Surprisingly, I am experiencing very little pain.  As I have been becoming increasingly aware of, David and I no longer connect.  I have my own significant feelings and thoughts about this.  I get very angry if I try to go over the last 2-1/2 years of my life with this man, but then, I come to realize that is not important.  I do believe David stopped loving me a long, long time ago.  He has not been able to adjust to it, that's all.  So he made me the one who didn't love, and truly projected those feelings.  I am, however, a most fully realized feelings person, and I never stopped loving David, ever, through our life.  I have only recently realized I have to stop the outpouring of my affection, not necessarily love, just my expression of it in relation to David.  I could be back in Oregon, and putting all my energy and focus on a relationship with David.  But, what for?